0611. Instagram: TheHannahM Twitter:TheHannahM56
I know something is wrong because I used to feel a rattling in my chest when my heart was tossed around my ribcage but now I don’t feel anything and I think that somehow this is worse.
I used to stay up late at night thinking about you and wishing it would stop but now I would give anything to feel something besides this black hole growing where my lungs should be.
I used to cling to you because I thought that somehow being in your arms would stop the shaking but then I realized that the shaking didn’t begin until I met you.
I want so desperately to be able to find my way back to the time when I was whole. When I didn’t fear my chest would cave in with each breath because it didn’t know what it was like to be empty.
I’ve tried filling this void with things like booze and late nights and the selfish kisses of people who don’t love me but those things are only temporary and the hickeys left on my neck look more like bruises than the remainder of a lover’s lips and all I really know is that when I’m drunk my name probably shows up on your caller ID more than I’d like to admit and that in itself says everything about how I still feel towards you.
You Were an Earthquake and I Was a Cracked Foundation
You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.